He loves me just the way I am (even if I’ve let myself go)

He loves me just the way I am (even if I’ve let myself go)

In my ENT practice, I often see many husbands and wives. Sometimes they like to be seen in the same room and sometimes they prefer to be seen separately. During one of these separate appointments, I first saw the wife about an ENT related issue, but noticed that she was holding onto my medical spa brochure. Near the end of her appointment, she asked me a question about Botox and then proceeded to state that she did not need or want it, because her husband loves her just the way she is. I went to see her husband in the next room, shortly after, and ironically, he had the same medical spa brochure in his hand. Then, at the end of his appointment, he stated “I wish my wife would partake in some of your services. I have noticed that she has aged lately.”


A recent study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, reported that spousal attractiveness plays a major role in marital satisfaction. Another research study, conducted in 2008 at the Relationship institute at UCLA, came to a similar conclusion. According to this study, men who felt lucky to be married to a more attractive woman were seen to tend to more of their wives needs. However, in relationships where the man felt that he was the more attractive than his spouse, this phenomenon was witnessed at a much lower scale.


So ladies, can you just let yourself go once you’re married and assume your husband loves you just the way you are? I believe that the answer to this question depends on the man are with. Some men do not stress much importance on physical appearance, but most lose attraction when signs of aging become more apparent. Attraction is a very important factor in relationships – as many studies have proven to be true – and we should strive to maintain our appearance even as we age. Sure, personality matters. Your brain even perceives people that have favorable personalities to be more attractive. However, physical appearance does affect attraction – but at some point the balance begins to shift and even the best personality cannot outweigh an unfavorable physical appearance. Also, keep in mind that this can still be the case for women. Although women tend to care more for personality, appearance is still a fairly large factor, in attraction.

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